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May 22, 2015

Daily Fetch: 5.22.15: The Fetch Gets Reckless, Liccardo Has Kardashians On His Mind, Dumb Cop Fails To Snag Smart Watch

It’s Memorial Day Weekend!  Fetch will make it quick so we can go crack some Zima’s and get this party started!

In old news, the Mercury News reports that according to the U.S. Census Bureau, SJ has finally hit 1 million people.  What was on the mind of the Mayor during this truly historic occasion?  The Kardashians.  No, really.  Maybe this photo caption from the SacBee got his Honor’s mind going:



Now, with over 1 million people, the SJPD has augmented its burglary investigation unit from 10 detectives to…1 whole detective according to this NBC Bay Area story.

This just in from the files of “People Who Do Stupid S*@T,” a Santa Clara cop attempts to jack a Target for…wait for it…wait for it…a “smart watch.”  Turns out that no one told him that a smart watch doesn’t actually make you smarter.   We hear Mayor Chuccardo is contemplating deputizing Target Security to beef up the SJPD burglary investigation unit.

TIMBER!!!!  Nate Dogg from the Business Journal tells us Southern Lumber will close this summer. Please insert your own jokes about losing wood here.

How much did the top 100 Bay Area CEOs rake in last year?  $1.2 billion dollars.  Yes, ONE BILLION DOLLARS!  That total is up 8% from last year.  Not bad work if you can get it.  And if you’re a woman, you probably can’t get it.  Sadly, there are only 5 women on the list.  And so you don’t have to flip through the whole slide show, Nicholas Woodman from GoPro took the top slot at $77.43 million beating out Larry Ellison.

CEOs need to take down those large pay checks in order to afford to live in Silicon Valley according to this Merc News story.   If only teachers, nurses and janitors worked harder, they’d be able to afford to live here too!!

In welcome news on the crackdown on human trafficking, the operator of, a website that hosted ads posted by prostitutes was sentenced to 13 months in the pokey.  According to the FBI, more than 50 juveniles were advertised on the site for the purpose of prostitution.

The SJ PoPo are gearing up to wear body worn cameras.

Campbell PD has made an arrest of the attempted kidnapping suspect caught on video earlier this week.

And the District Attorney’s Office has decided not to file charges against a San Jose State University police officer who shot and killed a man who reportedly charged officers with a 12-inch saw.  Apparently, the incident was captured on a body-worn camera worn by the officer.

Its Memorial Day weekend.  Be safe. Don’t drink and drive.  And if you’re going to be Reckless…let this be the way you do it.  The Fetch will see you there.  Rock on!!

May 20, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.20.15: City Council Makes it Rain, Apple Kinda Maybe Coming to SJ, Harbor Hooker Hooked & Stay Clear of SJC

According to NBC Bay Area, there are more problems at San Jose’s airport.  No, there hasn’t been another fence-hopper.   However, Investigative Unit reporter Stephen Stock analyzes the beleaguered airport’s ability to respond to a major accident like the Asiana Airlines crash at SFO.   SPOILER ALERT: The Airport’s Director is not concerned at all.

Downtown car owners will have to find a new spot to get their rides washed as San Jose city officials made it rain by selling the land out from under the Pacific Car Wash for $12.8 million.   But don’t get too excited.   The City won’t get a dime from the sale.  All proceeds will go to pay off debt from the defunct Redevelopment Agency.  Cue sad music.

Apple to San Jose?  No way!  Well, that just might be the case according to this scoop from Nate Dogg of the Biz Journal.  We’ll see what kind of goodies Mayor Chuccardo and the crew throw at the corporate giant to get some of their office space in North San Jo.  And yes, we gave Nate the additional “g” in his dog for being a “G”.

Tear it down!  That’s what the SJ City Council said to the Willow Glen Trestle.   It only took 4 votes of the city council to complete the action.  The Fetch wonders if there’s any symbolism to the bridge being torn down and Mayor Chuccardo splitting with his media promoters at the Merc’s Editorial Board?

And in an unsurprising development, the SJ City Council punted on the decision of whether or not to raise their pay.

Stockton PoPo came through with an assist to a San Jose mother by tracking down her abducted 6-year old daughter and the kidnappers.

That whole “sharing” economy thing might not be working out too well for the contract employees of companies like Uber and DoorDash.  Turns out getting something cheaper comes at a cost.  So, don’t quit your day jobs out there.

The “Harbor Hooker” will be spending 6 years in prison for involunatary manslaughter for shooting up a Google executive with heroin causing his overdose aboard his yacht.

Sending fellons from the pen to the county joint is having at least one impact: more cars are being stolen.  So we got that going for us.

LA joins other California cities in raising the minimum wage to $15.  The difference between LA’s ordinance and SJ’s?  Well besides LA workers getting $5/hr more, their mayor actually supported the wage boost.  Imagine that.

May 19, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.19.15: Drug Czars, SJ’s Green Foamy Nastiness, and Sharks & Beached Whales, Oh My…

What do you do when you’re flush with green from taxing the green?  Create a Drug Czar of course. Jennifer Wadsworth at San Jose Inside rolls up the story here.  And up the road in Oakland, 14 people at Oakland Airport were busted for funneling pot past TSA agents.  If only they had a Drug Czar.

“It’s green, it’s foamy and it’s nasty.”  No, not that sickos.  A 4-aarm chemical fire broke out in SJ this morning and NBC has the run down (pun intended).  SJ fire crews contained the blaze, but now have a “soup” of contaminated water to deal with.  In other fire news, NBC’s Robert Handa has the scoop on a large fire on Communications Hill and points out the City closed the fire station on the hill five years ago.

San Jose tops the list for job opportunities, but the insane cost of living drives down its ranking as a desirable place to live according to this BizJournal story.

Campbell police have released new video of the vehicle driven by a man who tried to kidnap a young girl who was walking her dog this weekend.  Police are looking for help in getting this sicko off the streets.

The FBI is offering a $10K reward for the arrest of the “Clean Cut Bandit”.  The Fetch promises that if we nab him, we’ll take the $10K to start a contest to inspire better bank robber names.

Pacifica residents will finally get some nostril relief as crews will begin burying two dead whales that washed up on Pacifica beaches OVER A MONTH AGO.  Apparently it took a jillion agencies to decide what to do with the dead whales.  All the while, the animals rotted on the beaches.  Pacifica residents now know what its like to live in Milpitas.

Orange is the new green.  Spending some time at San Quentin may take on a whole new meaning according to this KTVU story.  Apparently, when you’re sentenced to death row, you shouldn’t have a room with a view.

Looks like the Sharks will be sticking around and the Merc’s editorial board is all gushy and romantic about it.  Naturally, they trip all over themselves to laud Mayor Chuccardo’s wisdom in the deal but fail to discus the extra $6 million the City is on the hook for to fix the Shark Tank and the $5 million rent reduction the Sharks will receive at their city-owned practice facility.   Bottom line, we love the Sharks, so we’ll pay up.  But bring home the friggin’ Stanley Cup already, would ya?

Dude, where’s my plane?  That was the statement of one unlucky Palo Alto Airport tenant who saw his plane jacked by a flight instructor.  Do they make the Club for planes?

May 18, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.18.15: City Managers Clockin’ Major Dough, the dying GOP, & cop cameras for all…

Now that they’ve thoroughly kicked front-line public employees like police officers, firefighters and librarians to the curb, the Mercury News sets its sights on the top bureaucrats of City Halls across Northern California in this story on City Manager pay.  Special shout out to the City Manager of Palo Alto who took home over $430K in total compensation last year.  Our spies tell us he attended this seminar to help boost his pay.

Speaking of pay…the San Jose City Council is set to vote on giving itself a pay bump. In case you were wondering about how Council pay stacks up to Manager pay, historically the City Manager makes about three times as much as a councilmember, who make $81K.  How do you like ‘dem apples?

Santa Clara County Supervisor Ken Yeager seeks to raise the age for smoking and e-cigarettes to 21.   Smoke ‘em now if you got ‘em Johnny.

Republicans are apparently dropping like flies.

Showing that they can get along, the SJPOA and City of San Jose have come to agreement on having all police officers wear Body-Worn cameras.

Nate-Dog from the SV Biz Journal tells us that Valley Fair is set to launch a major $600 million expansion, adding 80 to 100 new stores.

In a move most see aimed at softening the company’s image, Uber nabs Google’s top public-policy executive.  Hopefully this leads to an end in tailing reporters and telling the rest of the world go f*%k themselves.

The State’s top gaming regulator steps down amidst a conflict of interest controversy that has San Jose ties.

Fetch’s “You gotta be shittin’ me” Bureau

Congresswoman Loretta Sanchez gets her Senate campaign off to a roaring start with this bone-headed move at the CA Dem convention.   We anticipate Congresswoman Sanchez will be keeping this Fetch Bureau busy over the course of the campaign.


May 13, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.13.15: Apartment Association Spokesflak’s Illogical Logic On Rent Control, SJ’s Daily “Caught On Film” Home Invasion Du Jour, and New Merc Reporter At SJ City Hall…

Newbie SJ City Councilmember Raul Peralez wants to control the spiraling cost of rental housing in San Jose. Peralez is proposing a 4% cap on rent increases to provide some relief from unscrupulous landlords. The response from the landlord’s lobbyist and spokesflak, California Apartment Association Senior Vice President Joshua Howard, is bewildering: “I would say it’s not necessary.” Howard expands on his eloquent prose by adding this little ditty in defense of massive rental rate hikes:

“Rent control will not bring the cost of housing down. All it will do is create more competition for housing because individuals may stay in units longer.” See.

SV Biz-Journals Nate-Dog continues to provide comprehensive and even-handed coverage of the ongoing policy battle raging inside of Mayor Sam Chuccardo’s head over industrial land use conversions. Chuccardo supported two massive conversions last year for his land use lobbyist buddy and then apparently forgot about them and had a crane lift him onto this high horse so he could gallop to a new position last night to staunchly oppose any conversions. Of course, Chuccardo’s in house media team of Scott and Barb over at the Merc provided him cover as usual. Pathetic.

Another San Jose home invasion caught on film that shows knife-wielding thugs going after three homeowners who had to barricade themselves in a bathroom to survive the intrusion. KPIX has the story.

On the heels of the latest caught on film crime, Mayor Sam Chuccardo and VM What’s Her Name took an earful from angry residents who want action and more Po-Po. What they got was the usual gibberish from these two politicians, with VM What’s Her Name making it about herself.   So in short, more of the same.

Bay City News reports that parcel tax measures in the Palo Alto Unified and Campbell Union school districts have passed. That loud sigh of relief you hear is not coming from the districts that will benefit from the extra scratch but from the county registrar’s office because there were no screw-ups in the mail only special election.

The coward who tried to rape a 13-year old after breaking into her San Jose home after school last week was arraigned yesterday and is facing life in prison. The attack was captured on video and made national and international headlines praising the young lady for fighting off the brazen daytime attack. Find the biggest book and throw it at this loser!

As Los Angeles grapples with raising its minimum wage the question is not if but when and by how much. Some in LA want to raise the wage to $15 an hour…

In more minimum wage news out of LA, this time Los Altos, not smogville, it looks like a raise in the minimum wage is on its way. Also in LA, the City Council may go shopping for cheaper and cleaner energy for its residents as this report from the Town Crier reveals.

A new reporter, who apparently has some journalistic chops, takes over at the Merc for the recently departed Mike Rosenberg (he left, didn’t die) at SJ City Hall. Hopefully Ramona Giwargis won’t phone it in like some of her predecessors and actually question some of the pinheaded moves made by those in power. Welcome to the scrum. Hey JK, over at the anonymous Fly, did you apply and get passed over for this gig as well?

A Santa Clara County Judge ruled that Christopher Hubbard, the infamous “pillow case” rapist, is not a danger to society…Really? This judge should be made to live next door to this creep and be made to meet all the victims to hear what this savage did.

From our Dumb Ass Crooks Bureau

These brain surgeons were caught while tooling around in a stolen vehicle by the Santa Clara County Regional Auto Theft Task Force with the plates still affixed to the stolen hoopdy they stole a few days before their arrest.  A few years of extra time in the slammer should be granted to this crew for stupidity.




May 12, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.12.15: Mayor Sam Chuccardo’s Amnesia Flares Up, Oliverio Calls For Contracting Out SJPD, and NE Pat’s QB Tom Brady Branded A Cheat…

Nate-Dog from the SV Biz Journal provides an in depth look at the industrial land conversion controversy that has enveloped SJ City Hall and caused a great deal of amnesia from Mayor Sam Chuccardo and his in-house media team over at the Mercury News. Apparently, as described in this scathing memo authored by Councilmember Dapper Don Rocha, the Mayor and Merc want everyone to forget about the massive industrial land conversions the Mayor not only voted for, but championed, last year that benefited one of his lobbyist buddies. Maybe Sam and Barb need some help?

Tax revenue is pouring into state coffers and the beneficiaries of this largess look to be students. State Controller Betty Yee reports that California’s mix of moderately increasing taxes, implementing legal pension reform, and paying down long term debt is a winning combination. Hello San Jose, are you listening?

In light of only one (1) San Jose Po-Po investigating auto thefts, this San Jose family is going all Columbo and trying to track down who ripped their truck off. Dwindling police resources have led this couple to take to social media and pounding the pavement to recover their ride.

California’s State Assembly gave a big spirit finger to major league sports team owners.  A bill was approved that would mandate cheerleaders become employees of the various franchises.

KGO-7 reports on the San Jose Water Company’s water rationing plan that it will present to the state for approval. KPIX reports that the drought may be a fatal blow to pool and spa businesses. And in LA, celebs are being shamed on social media for continuing to water their mansions…#droughtshaming

New suitors for the near bankrupt Daughters of Charity hospital chain are lining up. Apparently the Daughters are doing all they can to avoid the inevitable bankruptcy that is staring them in the face.

San Jose’s residential garbage rates are set to rise. This city memo tells you why and how much of bite those curbside bins are going to cost us. Rumors are circulating that one candidate for the D4 city council seat is not a big believer in paying his garbage bill.

How many times can the NFL send the wrong message in a high profile incident/crime? Apparently many times, as they slap cheater Tom Brady on the wrist with a four game suspension for deflategate.

A racial profiling lawsuit has been filed against San Jose that alleges mistreatment against a man stopped for traffic violations by the Po-Po. Maybe if he wins his lawsuit he can fix his ride and take some driving lessons to avoid further stops…just sayin’.

All those squirrelly massage parlors all over Santa Clara County are in store for heightened enforcement if they offer more than a rub down. County Supervisors are cracking down on parlors fronting for prostitution.

A 275-acre fire was put out by over 100 firefighters along Highway 152 near San Luis Reservoir. Hopefully this is not a precursor of things to come in our drought stricken state.

Traffic reduction is on the menu at today’s SJ City Council meeting. KLIV’s 14 listeners heard this report. Part of the agenda item covers traffic enforcement and Mayor Sweatpants Oliverio is calling for contracting out portions of the San Jose Police Department to another law enforcement agency that actually has cops.



May 11, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.11.15: Did The Merc Back Scratch Its Way To Awards? Pot Shop Crackdown, and Is Peace Between San Jose Workers and The City Imminent?

The Merc’s Howard didn’t Mintz any words praising the Bay Area News Group’s/Merc’s numerous wins for journalistic excellence bestowed upon them by what appears to be an unbiased group of journalistic do-gooders, the California Newspaper Publishers Association (CNPA). Of course, Howie forgets to mention that CNPA is an organization funded by the BANG/Merc and the BANG’s very own President and Publisher, Sharon Ryan sits on CNPA’s board of directors. CNPA also serves as the Merc’s lobbyists up in Sacramento, doing all they can to kill legislation to improve working conditions, provide health care, and hold corporate wage thieves accountable. Nice little arrangement, wouldn’t you say?

NBC Bay Area’s Head Sleuth Tony Kovaleski deploys undercover cameras to capture what everyone already knew about SJ’s “medical” Mary-Jane shops…they are shady. Not slim like, but shady, shady, shady nonetheless. This report may have finally provoked the City of San Jose to act and shut down the toking troublemakers.

Outgoing SJ IPA LaDoris Cordell takes one last swing at the fences to tamp down alleged racial bias amongst the ranks of the SJ Po-Po in this Sunday piece by the Merc’s Kaplan and Salonga.

Is a settlement of San Jose’s longstanding war against its employees nearing an end? Insiders point to settlement negotiations heating up over the coming weeks and the city spending money on actuarial services to put a price tag on various proposals flying back and forth. Of course this hastily scheduled closed session meeting of the City Council later today ads weight to what political wags have been telling Fetch for weeks now, the two sides are close to a deal.

The media coverage surrounding the SAP Center lease extension with the City of San Jose sure sounded like a good deal until one reads the details. Looks like the City pretty much shat the bed in these negotiations and the taxpayers will be on the hook millions more for the privilege of watching the Sharks suck into the next decade.

Looks like Yahoo! is taking a page from Tricky Dick Nixon’s playbook and going after leakers. Looks like quite a first amendment battle will play out in court as Yahoo! sues a former employee for allegedly divulging the dirt on the company’s CEO.

Will California’s famous/infamous Prop 13 withstand this latest challenge by unions to force commercial properties to pay more in property taxes while leaving the decades old protections in place for homes?

From our Sports Bureau

New England Pat’s QB Tom Brady is a Fuc#ing Cheater!





May 8, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.8.15: Josh Koehn’s Job Search Continues, Norberto Calling The Shots At City Hall, and Free Beer In Barbershops…

A brave 13-year old girl fought off an attacker that followed her into her home, all caught on film in San Jose. The attacker is still at large and the story has made international news.

KGO-7’s David Louie has an exclusive interview with the 13-year old who described this frightening attack.

Another genius with a gun caused havoc in DT San Jose that spurred the evacuation of dozens of homes. The knucklehead finally surrendered after barricading himself throughout the night.

San Jose has a new City Manager and let’s hope that the Merctro’s glowing editorial does not jinx Norberto Duenas as he has his hands full trying to clean up the mess at City Hall that the Merctro and Mayor Chuccardo helped create. Insiders agree that Duenas is a solid choice with excellent communication skills and problem solving acumen.

Metro’s anonymous Fly column takes yet another misguided swipe at our humble anonymous blog with this puff piece about new Golden Spigot PR flak, Kerry Hillis, who apparently has been hired to sell us all on more water rate hikes. Yawn…


Speaking of being hired, or not being hired in this case…Metro’s Josh Koehn has been pounding the pavement looking for a new gig. Multiple sources have been dishing on Koehn’s feeble attempt to land a job with the Investigative Unit over at NBC Bay Area. NBC took a pass on Koehn and sources tell us so did CNN. We certainly hope that Josh is trying to land a producer job because we gotta believe his on air Q scores would set new lows. We encourage anyone who speaks to Josh to ask him how his interview went over at CNN, was it something like this?

JK, The Daily Fetch is always looking for new unpaid interns. Email us your resume, a sample of your work, and contact info and we will get back to you.

SV Biz Journal’s Nate-Dog delivers another exclusive with this piece about KB homes and SJ’s Communications Hill. ND also includes some history about how the hill has been developed and what’s in store down the road.

From our “We shit you not” Bureau…

An adult tried to smuggle a kid in a suitcase onto a flight to Spain. Airport security manning the X-ray machine detected the 8-yr old pretty easily and the adult was arrested. Of course, if this was SJC all the kid would have had to do is to straight up walk onto the plane, no scrunching into a suitcase necessary.

From right out of The Da Vinci Code, a rogue secret police force has been tooling around Cali doing who knows what and was led by a member of State AG Kamala Harris’s staff. This crew was impersonating real cops and told several legitimate law enforcement agencies that they were a Masonic police force and that they were modern day Knights Templar. Cookoo.

In other news…

In a deft political move, SF’s DA has called in reinforcements to investigate arrests made by SF Po Po under investigation for bigoted text messages. One of reinforcements is SJ’s own LaDoris Cordell, who apparently can’t figure out how sustain a citizen’s complaint here in San Jo’.  No matter the outcome of this investigation the DA get’s to say “It wasn’t me”, it was the reinforcements that did whatever they will do…smart.

A bill in Sacramento that everyone can support: Free beer and wine at barbershops and salons!!!

A three-alarm fire at a San Jose pipe trades center pulled rigs from around the city to douse.


May 5, 2015

Daily Fetch 5.5.15: Guess who’s back? Our extended vakay ends on Friday. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

April 8, 2015

Daily Fetch 04.08.15: Orozco leads in D4, SCC Goes Big on Solar and (with tail tucked firmly between legs) Pete Constant Heading for the Hills

Well, when we’re wrong we’re dogs enough to admit it. More than 5 people showed up to vote in yesterday’s special election for San Jose City Council District 4. Out of 40,000 registered voters, a whopping 8,600 bothered to cast a vote…yay democracy!  Senator Bob Weikowski staffer Tim Orozco currently leads the herd with 22% of the vote—in other words this baby is headed to a run off.

According to KTVU, 40-45 cars are stolen every day in Santa Clara County, but thanks to local law enforcement gumshoes at least two car thieves won’t be repeating their antics for at least 10 to 20.

San Jose’s not so slow swirl down the toilet bowl picked up a little speed last night as a young woman was shot to death near San Jose’s Willow Glen neighborhood.

Accused sex offender Johnell Carter, who last month escaped from custody at Valley Medical Center, was arrested yesterday way down south in Dixie (Mississippi to be exact).

Go Big or Go Home, seems to be the mantra of Santa Clara County officials at least when it comes to solar. The Board of Supervisors voted yesterday to approve purchase agreements, which would result in the county becoming one of the 10 largest renewable energy users in the US of A. 

Pete Constant is heading for the hills! The Sierra Foothills that is. According to Scott Herhold, Constant and his freshly elected Campbell Unified School Boardmember wife will be moving to Roseville. Given the fact that Constant ran (and lost) for both San Jose Mayor and a local community college board last year we have to think that this move wasn’t really planned. In otherwords Pete’s claim that the move is to bring his family closer to his wife’s parents rings a little hollow. So what’s really prompting the move? Perhaps with the efforts of northern counties to break off from California picking up steam, pistol Pete may be setting himself up to become the first Governor of the State of Jefferson. Until this master plan becomes a reality, however, Citizen Constant will continue to collect a check as an “advisor” (read Rose Wrangler) to Mayor Chuccardo. Additionally, the former councilman will begin working on yet another pension at some wackado rightwing nut think tank call the “Reason Foundation…” btw the think tank also seems to be on board with Constants master plan. Good Bye Mister Constant, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

Speaking of rightwing nuts, Rand Paul announced his soon to be failed bid for the US presidency yesterday.

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